Sunlight and time study

In a millisecond I notice the eye. In another millisecond, I notice the light and the shadows. Then I see that it’s a hand over a face. And long before the first thousand milliseconds have passed, I notice that I am looking at a photo of me.

Who am I?

Time is another of my other constant questions. A photo like this one gives me the illusion that time has paused, but within my mind, I am aware that the world is passing by milliseconds at a time. But my mind cannot possibly consciously attend to all of the information my senses are taking in. And by the time I’ve finished writing a thousand words – over and over and over again – I will only have begun to answer the question of who I am.

I could divide my walk to the river into milliseconds – theoretically. In reality, I notice parts of some moments and most of the others just fade away. I sometimes take a photo to capture a living moment, but all I end up with is a still, framed image. Maybe, with my imagination and my memories – or yours – there is an illusion of something more when I look at the image.

As with technology in general, I think that photos are both a gift and a curse. I can see things my ancestors could never see by capturing these images - images that are real and distorting - or perhaps disillusioning - at the same time.

Who am I? Why am I here?

Why, when looking at the sunlight reflecting off of the river for perhaps the trillionth millisecond, do I care?

Why, when someone else looks into my eye for a millisecond, do I care?

Questions are a gift and a curse.

Sometimes I stop in at Aimee’s café and coffee shop. I usually order a black currant iced tea. A barista looks into my eye for a millisecond. I sit up at the counter and stare out of the front windows at the sunlight and the shadows. All at a thousand milliseconds a second. I cannot attend to everything I can see. And there’s a whole world out there that I cannot see.

The glass is smooth and cold in my hand. I bring it to my lips. Ice cold river water with a hint of tea and black currant always satisfies my physical thirst. Sometimes, if I am paying attention, that first sip of iced tea satisfies something else in me. I could write a thousand more words and still not capture the all of the sensations.

That satisfied feeling is an illusion, I know, but sometimes a moment can feel like forever.